Random

I've had so many things running around in my head, but naturally when I go to write I cannot think of anything. So...I suppose I will go the route of randomly writing whatever pops into my head. I'm assuming no one will read this anyway, so no worries. The date auction is tomorrow...yikes! I am really trying not to think about that, but I can't help it. I am nervous and the funny thing is I am more worried about who will bid on me than not getting any bids. I am glad I can't really back out now. lol. I wanted to contribute and this is the best way since I know I am to chicken to bid myself. Life is so crazy and ironic. I am not exactly good at being social, but I intend to fix that this summer. Now, in addition to myself, I have two other people to drag into socializing. lol. One of those lovely 'me? why me? uh...are you sure about this?' moments. I will do my best though. Haha the really hilarious part I think I will leave off of here just in case someone is insane enough to read this. It is funny how the littlest things people say can make you think. Phill made a comment about talking with the people with me instead of texting at Utenited last week and I have thought a lot about that. I love everyone at Utenited, but I do not feel like I am really a part of the group yet. I have gotten close to several people individually, but not everyone and I hardly know where to begin with everyone else. I join in sometimes, but I don't always feel comfortable joining in the conversation. This is probably really silly, but I can't help it. I cannot believe the semester is almost over. I have been living for the end of the semester and all of its stress for so long and now it is actually within reach. Unfortunately, now I am at the point where I really have to look at the summer and wonder if I can accomplish what I want to or if I will go absolutely crazy stuck at home with my mom most of the summer. The problem with living for some point in the future to make it through hard times is the disappointment that inevitably comes with it. I try so hard to have no expectations because you can't be disappointed that way, but it is sooo impossible for me to do that.